Tag Archive: Love & Sex & Relationships

A young Chinese couple gets married. She’s a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn’t know that.

On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness. He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.

‘My darring,’ he whispers, ‘I know dis you firss time and you berry flighten. I promise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting – juss anyting you want. You juss ask. Whatchu want?’ he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her..

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request.

She eventually shyly whispers back, ‘I want to try someting I have hear about from odda girls… Numbaa 69.’

More thoughtful silence, this time from him.

Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her, ‘You want… Garlic Chicken wif snow peas?”


Sports We Ignore

All around the world people take part in sports that the average American doesn’t understand or couldn’t care less about. Sports like bullfighting, rugby, and cricket are barely a blip on America’s radar screen. Even professional soccer has seemed to elude many Americans. Our kids may play it but when the casual soccer fan would have trouble naming the best teams and players that shows a lack of interest. We are so set in our ways that if it isn’t one of the big four sports (baseball, basketball, football, hockey) we don’t seem to care. Even golf is a sport people play but don’t watch, outside of Tiger Woods. The sad thing is that there are major things occurring right now and we are oblivious.

ESPN is currently trying to introduce cricket to their audience. They can’t risk a ratings bomb in primetime so they are showing it (complete with small little picture advertisement) on ESPN360.com. Apparently ESPN News, ESPN 2, ESPN etc., all had other obligations to broadcast.

Last December on of the best rugby players in the world came out that he was gay. Until Sports Illustrated ran an article this month on Gareth Thomas you would have trouble naming anything rugby related. I know I have no knowledge about the sport other than just a basic understanding of how it works. I am ignorant to the sport myself, and was amazed at the story of Thomas. What was astounding is how well teammates and fans received his news. Would we be so accepting if Peyton Manning or LeBron James announced they were gay?

There is one sport that I just can’t support, and that is bullfighting. There is pageantry and beauty in the sport so they say, but to me it seems like mocking an animal as it slowly dies. Once in a while the bull gets revenge for his species, but what happened to Julio Aparicio is cruel by any standards. Aparicio is one of the best bullfighters in the world, but he is now in critical condition. He fought a bull and the bull won, goring him through the jaw. Nobody deserves this.

So next time you are bored, or your favorite team is getting blown out, try taking a look at a new sport. You may just find out that you have room in your life for another sport.

**Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,**


**’Hi honey.**
**This is Daddy.**
**Is Mommy near the phone?’**

**’No, Daddy.**
**She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Dave.’**

**After a brief pause,**

**Daddy says,**

**’But honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Dave.’**

*’Oh yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room with Mommy,**

**Right now..’**

Brief Pause.

**’Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.**
**Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs**
**And knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy**
**That Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.’**

**’Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.’**

**A few minutes later**

**The little girl comes back to the phone.**

**’I did it, Daddy.’**

**’And what happened, honey?’ **

‘Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.**

**Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser**
**And now she isn’t moving at all!’**

**’Oh my God!!!  What about your Uncle Dave?’**
**’He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.**

**He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window**
**And into the swimming pool.**
**But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water**
**Last week to clean it.**

**He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he’s dead.’**

*****Long Pause*****

*****Longer Pause*****

*****Even Longer Pause*****

**Then Daddy says,**
**’Swimming pool?  ………..**

**Is this 486-5731?’*

**No, I think you have the wrong number………*

Love & Marriage & Divorce

So, Larry King is getting his 8th divorce, and Elizabeth Taylor is possibly getting married for the 9th time. Jesse James and Tiger Woods are, well…. You know. Even Newt Gingrich and Rush Limbaugh are on their 3rd and 4th marriages, yet the idea of same-sex marriage is what is going to destroy the institution of marr……iage, REALLY?