Dear Brett Favre,
You are a living legend and will go down in history as one of the best quarterbacks ever to put on a helmet. The problem is that you refuse to put your helmet down and become history. You need to stop, as this is getting ridiculous. You have been subjecting fans to potential retirements for years, and you are not the MVP winning gunslinger you once were. You should have left Green Bay and headed straight for your Wrangler jeans commercials and stayed there. Instead you held the Packers hostage before ending up in New Jersey. You did start out well for the Jets, but don’t only did the wheels come off, but your axels broke, the engine cracked, the car split in half, all before plummeting off a cliff into a lake of acid. This year was better for Minnesota, but you still ended up falling short once again.
It is tough to give up what you love to do, and retiring isn’t easy. You joined the likes of Joe Namath, Joe Montana, and Johnny Unitas as quarterbacks who left their home and became a shell of their former selves. Leaving Green Bayfor New York and single-handily keeping the Jets out of the playoffs should have been the last of your career. You are now going to play for your long time enemy in Minnesota after retiring (again) so you didn’t have to go through training camp. You are the football equivalent of Ric Flair. You can still put on a good show sometimes, but you need a good supporting cast to help carry you to a good match. In Minnesota you have Adrian Peterson but sub-par receivers. You may be able to help the Vikings battle for the playoffs, but you need to realize you can’t keep doing this. The fans don’t want it, the organizations don’t want it, and the NFL doesn’t want it. Stay home. Go ride your tractor on Sundays. If you want I bet you can drive down to Alabama and Forrest Gump will let you mow his football field for him. Brett, stop tarnishing your legacy and make way for the players half your age that actually are on the rise. Football will survive, but if you keep pulling the same stunt every year you may not. Now go take some Prilosec, slip on your Wranglers, and go work on that Geritol endorsement deal.